Libya, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia top the list of Arab countries with the highest divorce rates for 2024, according to a report by the specialized site "Data Bands" that tracks global divorce rates. While divorce may seem like a solution to marital problems, disputes over child custody can lead some parents to adopt harmful behaviors, negatively impacting the children who become victims of these conflicts.
After divorce, children often live with one parent, typically the mother. However, disputes do not end there, as the relationship between the separated partners can turn into a psychological war, where one parent uses the children as a means to pressure and influence the other party.
Details of the Situation
In such cases, one parent may seek to distort the image of the other in the eyes of the children, convincing them that their father does not love them or that their mother prioritizes her new family. This behavior deprives children of building natural and balanced relationships with both parents, leading to long-term negative psychological effects.
Over time, children may shift from being mere victims to becoming parties in the conflict, learning to side with one parent as a means of survival. Children may adopt feelings of hatred as a psychological defense mechanism, resulting in their inability to distinguish between their true feelings and those imposed upon them.
Background & Context
This phenomenon is known in psychology by several terms. In the 1980s, American psychiatrist Richard Gardner introduced the term "Parental Alienation Syndrome," while Ira Turkat coined the term "Malicious Mother Syndrome" in 1995. Over time, these terms have been modified to encompass behaviors that may arise from either parent, as either the father or mother can exploit their parental position to distort the image of the other in the child's mind.
According to psychologist Richard Warshak, the term "Divorce Poison" is preferred to describe this phenomenon, as it arises from a mix of personal anger and a desire for revenge. The alienating parent often exhibits narcissistic traits that prevent them from separating their own feelings from their child's needs, leading to ongoing conflict even after the marital relationship has ended.
Impact & Consequences
Children exposed to these practices suffer from psychological and behavioral harm. An American study published in 2006 showed that participants who experienced this in childhood reported long-term effects, such as low self-esteem, depression, and difficulty trusting others. These children also suffer from a "splitting mentality," where one parent is viewed as entirely ideal while the other is portrayed negatively.
In rare cases, feelings of revenge may take more extreme forms, such as the "Medea Effect," where a mother may harm her children out of revenge against the ex-spouse. This complex is named after the character Medea in Greek mythology, who killed her children after being abandoned by her husband.
Regional Significance
Divorce cases are on the rise in the Arab world, raising concerns about the impact on children and society as a whole. Maintaining a degree of mutual respect between parents after divorce is crucial for the psychological health of children. Using children as weapons for revenge can lead to deep psychological wounds that may accompany them for life.
Ultimately, it requires the community and relevant authorities to work on raising awareness among couples about the importance of healthy interactions after divorce, to ensure better mental health for children and protect them from the effects of family conflicts.